The view from my perch on the mountain

Actual emergency call

Wythe County Police, Fire & Rescue. What is the nature of your emergency?

WHOOF! WHOOF! WHOOF!

Buddy….is that you, boy? Did your daddy tell you to call for help again?

WHOOF!

What’s the problem this time?

WHOOF! WHOOF! WHOOF! WHOOF! WHOOF! WHOOF!WHOOF! WHOOF! WHOOF!

I’m sorry boy; I didn’t catch all of that. Is your mama home?

WHOOF!

Well, put her on the phone.

Who is this and what do you want? Did that dog dial 911 again?

Frankie, it’s me, cousin John!

Oh hey, John! I’m a little busy right now. Can I call you back?

I thought you were gonna call last week. When are you coming over to get some vegetables? I’ve picked so many from the garden that I’m out of storage space.

Well you know, I’ve been working and…….

**unintelligible screaming in the background**

SHUT UP YOU BIG SISSY OR I’LL GRAB YOU BY THE EARS, DRAG YOU OUT FROM UNDER THAT BED AND WHACK YOU A FEW MORE TIMES!

I’m sorry, John what were you saying?

Have you been hitting Chip with the cast iron skillet again, Frankie?

You know how he is, John. I told him it was too hot to mow the lawn but would he listen? I had to go out and turn off the mower, splash him with cold water until he came to and help him stumble back indoors where it’s cool. The lawn does look good though.

Does he need another ride in the ambulance?

Hang on a second, John….. WHANG! …..he does now! Do me a favor; this time have the crew take him him to a different emergency room. I need to get a few things done around here and you know how he is.

Sure thing, cousin, where do you want us to take him….Roanoke…Charlottesville…..Richmond

No, I’ve been thinking more along the lines of Oklahoma City. It’ll take him a month to walk home from there after they release him…….unless he has amnesia again in which case I’ll have a laptop and a whole bunch of camera gear for sale, cheap.

Okay, Frankie, the ambulance is on the way. Pat Buddy on the head for me. Don’t forget to come get some vegetables.

Okay, John, I’ll be there. Thanks!

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5 responses

  1. lawn-mowery! a serious addiction, especially adult male are predisposed …

    July 24, 2011 at 5:00 PM

  2. penelopephoebe

    You gotta learn to relax, Chip, LOL.

    July 24, 2011 at 5:48 PM

  3. thats why we have two youths that do ours. and such a good job they do!
    k☼

    July 24, 2011 at 7:54 PM

    • Roket Man

      I’m busy reliving my second childhood. Does that count?

      July 24, 2011 at 8:12 PM

  4. Oi! chill out time! 🙂

    July 25, 2011 at 6:45 PM

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