The view from my perch on the mountain

How hard can it be?

Re-posted from my Blogger page

King-Tom--50080Suddenly,  the problems associated with genetic engineering to produce larger, plumper turkeys became all too apparent.

Place burd in oven, roast 3 hours at 325°, basting occasionally……”

Let’s see, take the knob off the oven, flip it over…..that’s 90 minutes at 650……..flip that rascal over again, twice………6 carry the 3……..

Do you suppose that was supposed to be 325°F?
US and metric time are the same, aren’t they?
I had a feeling buying that oven on sale at might present a problem one day.
If tenting the turkey is such a good idea how do you keep the tent poles from catching fire?
Why doesn’t Reynolds make fireproof turkey tents?


I read something about stuffing the bird. Does shoving him in an itty bitty sleeping bag count?
Did you know that if you mix Spam and Jell-O you can mold it into any shape you like, just like Play Dough?

Cooking tip: Don’t use lime Jell-O.
“Daddy why is the turkey green?”
“You’ve heard of aged beef…..this is aged turkey! It’s considered a delicacy in Japan!”


At least I didn’t set the yams on fire like a certain idiot I know did last Christmas!
Oh, wait…….that was me.
Cooking tip: If you mix Spam with orange Jell-O you can mold it into very realistic looking yams.

Does anyone else smell smoke?


6 responses

  1. Never good to set the yams on fire! Amazing what you can do with spam and gelo!!!

    November 25, 2010 at 12:00 PM

  2. er……yes…smell it and *cough*…trying to open a window to let the ‘black smoke’ out,
    Oooops….sorry, Turkey’s made a run for it, flapping at it’s smoking behind as it goes … xPenx

    November 25, 2010 at 12:38 PM

  3. penelopephoebe

    What a hoot. I have heard it said men make the best cooks…..hmmmm!

    November 25, 2010 at 1:12 PM

  4. I’m a bit puzzled as to who’s side your on Chip, the humans or the turkeys. I think I’ll pass on the yams .

    November 25, 2010 at 4:18 PM

  5. henh! we had italian pasta for dinner … too many recalls on the turkeys.
    ew … spam? really? bleh! you dont eat the resulting sculptures, right? you enter them in contests instead? bleh!

    November 27, 2010 at 10:31 AM

  6. wordsfallfrommyeyes

    We don’t have thanksgiving here in Oz, but it sounds like a rough time for the turkeys. Liked the joke about having dreams about someone stuffing bread up his butt! 🙂

    November 28, 2011 at 4:39 AM

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