Back in action…….sort of
I know, I know…….I haven’t been around lately and many of you are wondering if Frankie has finally managed to have me committed.
Not yet but she is working on it.
Actually, I’m still dealing with medical issues and just haven’t been up to blogging or even spending much time online. So far the doctors have done a pretty good job of telling me what is not wrong but still haven’t come up with a firm diagnosis.
My primary clinician is a little upset that I refuse to take two of the medications he prescribed but the side effects are worse than the illness so he’s just going to have to get over it. The other meds keep me pretty much sedated and that;s why I haven’t been around. To give you an idea of just how out of it I’ve been, I’ve only shot about 2 dozen frames since my last post on the 8th and they’re still on the memory card in one of the cameras.
There is a bright side to all of this. I’ll be well rested when it’s time to hitch up the dawgs to the truck and lend my northern cousin Kris a hand with his deliveries next month.
Brace yourselves………….
BUBBA CLAUS RIDES AGAIN!
Y’all may want to check your door and window locks and make sure the smoke alarm is in working condition. Ya never know what’s gonna happen when Bubba parks the truck on your roof and tumbles down your chimney.
East Bound and Down
Preparations are under way for our trip home to celebrate Mom’s 88th birthday.This means the sorting, packing, re-sorting, re-packing, re-re-sorting…..well you get the idea….. is underway and I’ll be out in the backyard cursing at the trees any minute now.
This is good practice for the trip home because it’s a proven fact that the idiot per mile population on Virginia’s highways increases exponentially as you travel east until you get to the gridlock that is Hampton Roads, road rage capitol of the known world. Add to that the stress from having to keep a sharp eye out for speed traps and it’s little wonder my blood pressure spikes every time I have to make the trip.
If there is one thing the USAF taught me that stuck it’s how to pack. I can usually get my bags packed (duffle, camera bags and computer bag) in 10 minutes but Frankie, Queen of the Pack Rats, always has a terrible time cramming everything into and on top of the truck. If we had a tractor trailer she would find a way to overload it! I’m always amazed that a fidget (Female mIDGET) always needs a suitcase that’s at least twice the size of everything I carry, combined.
Once Frankie finishes overloading Godzilla I have to wait until she falls asleep before going out and unloading enough junk crap trash “good stuff” to allow room for me to drive the truck and use the rear view mirrors. When she wakes up she always tries to stuff the excess back into the truck until I get that look in my eye and start searching for matches. Then she squirrels it away until her next attempt at setting a Guinness Book world record for most junk hauled across Virginia in a passenger vehicle.
Internet access at Mom’s involves a trip to McDonald’s to use their free Wi-Fi access because Mom views computers as one of the greatest evils ever visited upon mankind. My Internet Service Provider does not offer dial up access and the cost of a wireless plan would put a dent in my camera gear budget and that ain’t happening! I do have a 3G cell phone but I’m an old geezer and only use my cell for phone. I dropped the data plan after realizing that I only used it for about an hour total during the 3 month mandatory prescription period when I first got the phone. I figured the extra $49 a month would be better spent on that huge lens I wanted……and I did!
Anyhoo, I’ll be off line for most of the next week. When I get back I should have loads of pictures to share. On the other hand I may make the papers if I succumb to temptation and open fire on the idiots in a Virginia Beach traffic jam. At least tourist season is over so I’ll only have to deal with local idiots wandering around lost and not the summer time imported variety (mostly from Ohio, New Jersey and Quebec), as well.
See you when we get back….. unless I’m incarcerated or involuntarily committed!
P.S. If you happen to find yourself on a Virginia highway anywhere between Mount Rogers and the Atlantic Ocean during the next week you may want to re-consider your trip. That large green object with a dog head hanging out each side rapidly growing larger in your rear view mirrors will be Godzilla moving at a high rate of speed in and easterly direction tomorrow and westerly a week from tomorrow. I’m not braking for anything! You have been warned.
Shooting the Moon
(Re-posted from today’s Blogger page. I know, I know…..I’m just lazy!)
I haven’t spent nearly enough time with the cameras or writing lately so when THE BOSS pointed out the harvest moon just rising at the end of the ridge I grabbed the camera with the big lens mounted and stepped out the front door. All of these were shot hand held with my Sigma 150 – 500MM optically stabilized lens.
I really need to practice using the big lens because it’s heavy at 4 lbs. and next Monday we’re going home for a week to help Mom celebrate her 88th birthday. I know I’ll be shooting a lot on the beach as well as around the city, both in the urban and rural areas. To top the week off we’re going to the Air Show at Naval Air Station Oceana next weekend before piling in Godzilla and returning to God’s Country. I’m gonna need to build up my forearms so I don’t pass out from exertion right in the middle of shooting a low level pass!
Suffice it to say, I may not have much to post now but by the end of the month I should have about a gazillion* frames to process. If my calculations are correct I should go blind just before Halloween.
*That’s gazillion, not to be confused with Brazilian, which frequently confused our last Dufus in Chief who should not be confused with Rick Perry, his successor as governor of Texas, who wants to be the next Dufus in Chief only without the pesky IQ thingamajig.
Say what you may about the current occupant of the Oval Office; even with a do nothing congress he has managed to accomplish one thing:
……and he has proof!
(Actual bin Laden funeral footwear footage)
By the way, while we’re on the topic of Al Qaeda …..and don’t ask me how we got there:
Okay, “Peggy”, the attendant says it’s time to get me in my fancy jammies with the buckles in the back and for one of those itty-bitty cups of the funny orange “Kool-Aid”.
Peggy is not to be trifled with
I’ll see y’all tomorrow unless I manage to chew through the straps again. Y’all might want to lock your doors…..and buy a helmet.
You are not forgotten
Sorry I haven’t been around to make y’all shake your heads and ask yourselves why I haven’t been institutionalized yet…….and NO, that’s not why I haven’t been online much recently.
THE BOSS has had some medical issues that have been occupying what little is left of my mind. I haven’t even picked up a camera in several days.
She is being treated by several very competent medical professionals is okay, at home and at the moment well sedated. Her preliminary prognoses are very favorable and she’ll get a better handle on her condition tomorrow when she sees one of the specialists she’s been referred to and gets the lab results.
Now, while she’s still unconscious I’ll go check the straps on her straight jacket and the padlocks on the chains. You’d think she’d behave herself, especially after I cut the handle off her broom, effectively grounding her but NO-O-O-O!
Did I mention that the remnants of Tropical Storm Lee are just moving in to combine with a low pressure system that arrived in our area last night? The weather guess says heavy rain, 4 to 8 inches, through Thursday followed by scattered thunderstorms through the weekend. I’ll go absolutely stir crazy! If you already think I’m as screwy as a soup sammich you ain’t seen nothin’ yet!
It had to happen
Either the 60s are coming back to haunt me or Frankie and I discovered where the magic mushrooms grow.
Good news!
Frankie found this on the floor at work! Pack your bags folks, we’re all going to Disney Land on us. Just pack up the family car and come on.
For those of you living outside the continental United States there’s no need to worry about air fare, passports, getting groped by TSA screeners, etc. …….I found a deal on a bridge on eBay!
Still Above the Dirt
No, I haven’t fallen off the face of the Earth or broken all my cameras; I’m just in a slump. Usually I’ll wander around with my eye glues to the viewfinder, shoot a couple hundred frames, download them to my laptop and inspiration for a blog or three will come to me while I process what I’ve shot. Other times something I’ve read, heard or seen during my morning news fix will set me off on a rant and I’ll take it out on you poor folks.
Then there’s my unique (some say twisted) slant on the world around me. Blogs written on that basis usually cause a lot of you to post comments such as “You do know you ain’t right?”, “Do the guards know you’re out of your padded cell?”, “Do you lay awake nights thinking this stuff up?”, “What color is the sky in your world?” of the ever popular “God bless poor Frankie for putting up with you!”
As most of you know I have a few health issues and have to work around them at certain times of the year. During cold weather snow and ice require me to be extra cautious because of mobility issues related to my back and leg injuries . Hot humid weather, such as we’ve had the past couple of weeks, often aggravates my chronic bronchitis.
I’m the first to admit that I’m very hard headed but there are times when my refusal to let my physical problems from keeping me from doing what I want just isn’t enough and I end up where I am now, deep in the throes of cabin fever. To give you an idea of just how bad it is now, I have several pieces of new gear in my bag and I’m just dying to get out and play with it! Any time I don’t rush out to play with new toys something is definitely wrong!
Anyhoo……..the weather guessers are saying we should be in for something of a break as the daytime highs next week should be about 10 degrees cooler. Until then I have a few books I’ve been meaning to read and I’ll be able to catch up on your blogs…….and maybe, just maybe, I’ll find something interesting on the magic box across the room…….maybe even a Three Stooges Marathon!
Keep an eye on this space…….you never can tell when the voices in my head tell me to write something worth publishing. 
Buddy says he has a few good ideas but I’m not about to admit, in writing at least, that I converse with my dawg. People might think I was losing what little is left of my mind!
Actual emergency call
Wythe County Police, Fire & Rescue. What is the nature of your emergency?
WHOOF! WHOOF! WHOOF!
Buddy….is that you, boy? Did your daddy tell you to call for help again?
WHOOF!
What’s the problem this time?
WHOOF! WHOOF! WHOOF! WHOOF! WHOOF! WHOOF!WHOOF! WHOOF! WHOOF!
I’m sorry boy; I didn’t catch all of that. Is your mama home?
WHOOF!
Well, put her on the phone.
Who is this and what do you want? Did that dog dial 911 again?
Frankie, it’s me, cousin John!
Oh hey, John! I’m a little busy right now. Can I call you back?
I thought you were gonna call last week. When are you coming over to get some vegetables? I’ve picked so many from the garden that I’m out of storage space.
Well you know, I’ve been working and…….
**unintelligible screaming in the background**
SHUT UP YOU BIG SISSY OR I’LL GRAB YOU BY THE EARS, DRAG YOU OUT FROM UNDER THAT BED AND WHACK YOU A FEW MORE TIMES!
I’m sorry, John what were you saying?
Have you been hitting Chip with the cast iron skillet again, Frankie?
You know how he is, John. I told him it was too hot to mow the lawn but would he listen? I had to go out and turn off the mower, splash him with cold water until he came to and help him stumble back indoors where it’s cool. The lawn does look good though.
Does he need another ride in the ambulance?
Hang on a second, John….. WHANG! …..he does now! Do me a favor; this time have the crew take him him to a different emergency room. I need to get a few things done around here and you know how he is.
Sure thing, cousin, where do you want us to take him….Roanoke…Charlottesville…..Richmond
No, I’ve been thinking more along the lines of Oklahoma City. It’ll take him a month to walk home from there after they release him…….unless he has amnesia again in which case I’ll have a laptop and a whole bunch of camera gear for sale, cheap.
Okay, Frankie, the ambulance is on the way. Pat Buddy on the head for me. Don’t forget to come get some vegetables.
Okay, John, I’ll be there. Thanks!
This can’t be good!
Reposted from my Blogger page. Give me a break folks I’m rapidly losing what’s left of my mind…….and here’s why:
Copyright note: Feel free to ignore the copyright notice in the right sidebar. I stole all of these images from the Internet. The same holds true for the video. The insane rambling is mine, all mine!
The “heat dome” covering a huge section of the land of the formerly free and home of the useless, do nothing but shovel manure and tell lies about their opponents politicians has had me trapped indoors for days where the A/C allows me to breathe. It’s comfortable but I’m going stir crazy!
Let this be a lesson: Smoking will kill you! A pack a day for 40 years left me with 40% lung capacity which will never improve. It also gave me the “gift” of COPD in the form of chronic bronchial asthma which at this time of year is triggered by even a little exertion (read waving my cane and cussing like a sailor on shore leave every time I see that idjit across the street out tryin’ to herd her cats) in high heat and humidity.
If you are a smoker put that damned thing out! This is a smoke free blog!
While I sit here wishing for a foot of snow to magically appear I’ve found myself being drawn into the clutches of online retailers who carry stuff I just gots to have! One of those items is a larger camera bag. Just as some of you who are of the female persuasion amass a huge collection of shoes, purses, whips and chains, oh my!, etc. the past two+ years spent amassing enough photo equipment to shoot pictures of everything in the known universe has caused me to purchase an assortment of camera bags, each larger than the previous one. At current count I have 6 …… 7 if you count the tripod case and none of them are large enough.
I don’t necessarily need to carry EVERTHING when I go out shooting. I just like to keep all my gear together where I can find it. Splitting my gear between several bags is a cast iron guarantee that while out shooting 40 miles back in the hollers I’ll say “%#@*&@!! I need such and such and it’s in the other bag at home!”
Well, today I ordered a new bag and it should be large enough to hold everything and still have room for the gear I already have and any items I accumulate over the next few months……. I hope. For some strange reason I have the feeling that I’ll be buying a steamer trunk in the not too distant future.
Ape Case AC PRO4000
This is what I ordered. It even has detachable wheels! If I post a photo of a motorized version in the near future it will mean that A) It’s too heavy for me to carry, B) Ditto for Buddy, C) my riding mower is no longer operational D) My bag is now motorized and E) I’m living out in the storage shed because THE BOSS done found out how much I’ve spent on camera gear!
Another mouth to feed!
At my mom’s house there are two large white oaks in the front yard. Squirrels in the yard were a common site, especially after she began putting peanuts out for them. She eventually stopped doing that after my brother came home to discover that a squirrel had chewed through the screen on his bedroom window and was sitting on his bed, waiting for a hand out.
This is when I began calling him Squirrel Boy. Frankie and I even went so far as to make him a T-shirt that read “They call me Squirrel Boy!” across the back and had this image on the front.
Being the oldest, and arguably the meanest, of six siblings I have been known to saddle each one of them with nicknames, usually after they’ve done something spectacularly funny…..or stupid……and made the mistake of letting me find out about it.
He didn’t seem to mind the new moniker too much at first. In fact he was happy that people finally stopped calling him Gorilla Lips. (This being a family blog I won’t go into that.)
Then his drinking buddies began asking about the real reason that rodent was in his bed.
I thought that was hilarious!
He did not.
But I digress.
In June 2004 my family moved to Southwestern Virginia where Frankie, our daughter and I settled into small town life in the Blue Ridge Mountains. Squirrel Boy stayed behind to try to live down his perceived perversion earn another nickname so people would stop looking at him that way! in the hope that people would stop asking how he came to be known as Squirrel Boy.
So far they haven’t.
MWAHAHAHAHA!
It wasn’t until we had been here for a few months that I realized I hadn’t seen many squirrels even though our yard backs up to a heavily wooded ridge. We’ve seen a lot of whitetail deer, chipmunks, possums, raccoons and even the occasional coyote or black bear in the backyard but never any squirrels.
That changed this afternoon.
I’m not making the same mistake my mom made. This little guy seems content to eat sunflower seeds that have fallen from the feeders in Burd Town.
We’re not putting out any peanuts!
I’m not waking up with any squirrels in my bed!
June Wrap Up
Random shots to bring June to a close.
This guy startled me last night when it flew within inches of my head as I was taking Buddy out for his midnight constitutional. I thought I was being dive bombed by a bat!
To give you an idea of his size, the slats in the lattice measures are 2 inches wide. I’m pleased with the way these two shots, made at night in “full auto” mode using nothing but the built in flash, turned out.
“AHHHHHHH! Rolling in the grass feels SO GOOD!”
The Mimosa down the road finally bloomed while we were gone. Frankie has a couple of seedlings growing in her “pot farm”. Mom had one in our yard when I was growing up and I learned, the hard way, that those pretty blossoms are murder on a car’s paint job.
Frankie’s Knockout Rose is blooming nicely and loaded with buds.
Her Daylilies are finally blooming, as well. It was odd to arrive at Mom’s and see hers in bloom while Frankie’s were just beginning to bud.
Even though Mom only lives 325 miles east of us our higher altitude (approximately 2500 feet above sea level vs. 9 at Mom’s) makes for a fairly drastic difference in the growing season.
There’s that goofy dawg again….always ready to pose for a picture.
Petunias waiting to be transplanted. Mom always loads Frankie up with plants and seeds from her flower beds. Judging by the number of bags and pots I helped unload from the truck when we got home Frankie now has enough to turn the entire ridge into one huge flower bed……twice!
This farmer is slow putting up hay this season. The field at the top of our road was mowed, bailed and hauled off in about a month ago and the second crop is growing nicely thanks to the abundant rain last month.
Okay, time to break out the portable hard drive, transfer the June photos and make room for July. I do this the 1st of each month and also do a full back up of the laptop hard drive while I’m at it. After 17 years of computing and some disastrous crashes I’ve become a back up fanatic……..and it’s saved my butt several times in the last few years.
DUX!
Mom’s house is well known amongst the wildlife living in the vicinity of her home. Her neighborhood is located next to one of the city parks and the critters know Mom is always good for a handout so squirrels, rabbits and ducks are frequent visitors.
This pair shows up every afternoon and they’re not the least bit skittish around humans.
The male usually stands watch while the female grazes.
Once she’s had her fill she takes her turn at watch while her mate eats.
One afternoon the visitors got a rude surprise when I turned Buddy loose in the backyard to take care of business. I had forgotten about the ducks but Buddy hadn’t. He had a ball chasing them out of the yard. I think he may have been trying to play with them and was puzzled when they took flight. I also think he was trying to figure out how they did that because it looked like a lot of fun.
The next afternoon I was taking a short siesta when I was awakened by quacking that seemed to be coming from just outside the open window. Looking outside I didn’t see any ducks so I went outside to see where the noise was coming from.
Yep, they were on the roof! First time I ever saw ducks perched on a roof but they were definitely “Buddy proof” up there.
“Hey, Fat Boy, toss the feed up here. we know that big red dog can’t jump this high!”
Did you ever wonder…..
NOTE TO THE READER:
As some of you may know I have 2 blog pages (the other is my Virginia Through My Lens page on Blogger) and usually try to post something different on each one, each day. Sometimes I only have enough for one post so I alternate between pages. I feel that today’s blog is of such world shaking significance that I’m posting it on both sites in order to give all of my readers a chance to submit their input.
Please bear with me on this one. Anyone who has read a few of my blogs will tell you I’m not quite right. I mean no disrespect to our savior and creator. I’m only trying to shed a little light on what goes on inside my head.
I accept absolutely no responsibility for any bumps and/or bruises suffered from those prone to FOMCLMAOing or any other physical or emotional trauma resulting from reading this post. No animals were harmed in any way during the production of this nonsense.
Their are times when what’s left of my mind is a complete blank and I turn to my chief sources of inspiration, Chicken Invaders 3 or Three Stooges.com. Today I find that unnecessary. Brace yourself…….the inspiration for this post came to me in the shower.
As I was nearly finished mowing the front portion of our lawn God decided I needed a shower so he parked a HUGE black cloud over my yard and it commenced to rinsing me off. Then a tremendous bolt of lightning and incredible peal of thunder led me to realize that what He actually wanted was for me to stop mowing.
So I did……..before he sent another lightning bolt my way……I am capable of taking a hint………at least sometimes…….especially when lightning is involved.
Leaving my dedicated lawn mowing, land mine fertilizer surprise from Buddy finding, grass coated, paint splattered shoes out on the porch for a good rinse I decided it would be a good idea to get in the shower and wash off the sweat and dirt God missed.
This is when the inspiration hit me.
As I reached for the shampoo I realized that their were 8 bottles of shampoo on the rack! This is especially strange as there are only three people living in our house…….well, Buddy isn’t technically a people but he doesn’t know that and I see no need to tell him otherwise.
One of these bottles of shampoo is mine; the same brand I’ve been using my entire life.
Another bottle is Buddy’s the same brand he’s used since we brought him home. His shampoo occupies the lowest of the four shelves on the rack. This is very important because it is out of my reach. While accidentally using it may leave me with a shiny coat I have no desire to have the following conversation:
ER doctor: So tell me, Mr. Allen, how exactly did you get flea shampoo in your eye?
Me: RATZENFRATZENFILTHANDFLARN!!! JUST STOP LAUGHING AND MAKE THE &#@*&% BURNING STOP!!!
The other six bottles, each half empty, a different brand and different scent must, therefor, belong to my bride, aka THE BOSS, aka SHE WHO SHALL BE OBEYED, aka BRINGER OF THE HEADBONE LUMPS, HEADACHES, TWEETY BIRDS AND FIREWORKS!
Does anyone know why a woman would need 6 different shampoos? Has anyone else noticed this phenomenon? If so I would appreciate your input on this perplexing subject.
I haven’t the slightest intention of asking Frankie.
Apparently I must have tracked grass clippings across the carpet or something.
At the moment she’s down on her hands and knees…….screaming at me to “COME OUT FROM UNDER THAT BED AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN, YOU BIG SISSY!”
Fat chance of that happening!
I’ll just stay down here until she cools down a bit. Buddy says he’ll bring me a cookie or a little kibble when she’s not looki………
WHANG!
Oh, look at all the little birdies!
The Things You See On A Trip to Town
Today’s post from my Blogger page. Some days I just don’t have enough to post different blogs but I thought my readers here might enjoy seeing what a slow “news” day is like around here.
The weather guessers are promising heavy rain this afternoon and tonight. I believe them. For those who don’t know that is the flag of the Commonwealth of Virginia flying below the National Colors.
One would think that with cell and radio towers way up there reception would be great.
One would be wrong. There are higher ridges and deeper valleys all around, making cell reception spotty unless you’re near one of the Interstates where the terrain is fairly level …… or on top of one of those higher peaks.
At a traffic light Buddy started whining and barking. Two lanes over I saw what he was on about.
“Buddy, tell them to let you drive, too. You’ve got a license. So what if it’s a dog license? You’re a dog!”
We like to fly the Stars and Stripes everywhere! You also see the Stars and Bars flying a lot in our neck of the woods, a reminder that West Virginia is only a couple of ridge lines away. They broke away from the Confederacy and joined up with the damned Yankees when Virginia seceded from the Union at the start of the War of Northern Aggression.
Frankie remembers her grand daddy telling her about seeing Union occupation troops patrolling the streets of Wytheville when he was a boy. That didn’t stop him from answering the nation’s call during the Spanish American War. As our nation celebrates Memorial Day on Monday Grandpa Hodge will be one of the many veterans we’ll be saluting in our family.
HIPPIES!
Looking out in the yard this afternoon I thought I was having a flashback to the days of my misspent youth!
Tie dyed T-shirts!
People skipping, giggling and running around in circles in the rain!
THE BOSS even got caught up in the festivities!
That dawg has TWO tennis balls in his mouth!
Must have been something in the air making ‘em act that way …….
……..that’s what did it back in the day!
Why do I suddenly have the munchies?
Cat Patrol
The name’s Buddy. I’m in charge of keeping cats out of Mom’s flower beds.
Want to go kitty cat hunting?
They like to sneak in here when nobody’s looking.
All you have to do is sit patiently……
……and they’ll show up!
What did I tell you? I can’t show you what happens next. Daddy was too slow on the shutter button.
It’s okay, I didn’t hurt ‘em.
I wonder how long it’ll take them to climb down out of that tree.
When they do I’ll be ready to chase ‘em back up.
I’m a dog……it’s what I do…….and I love my job!
The Madness, part 2
It was a beautiful sunny day when I pried my eyes open this morning.
I even managed to catch a robin hunting for breakfast in the neighbor’s freshly mowed lawn before he spotted me and turned around to hide that beautiful red orange breast. You may recall from an earlier post that the robins have been messing with my head this year and turning their backs as soon as I framed a shot. Maybe this one hadn’t had his morning coffee yet.
Frankie’s azaleas have so many blossoms on them this year that it’s hard to find any of the leaves! The yard smells amazing and the scent of them wafting through the open windows is wonderful.
The reds, always the last to open for some reason, are finally in full bloom….
……as are the pinks.
The knockout rose Laura gave Frankie for Mother’s Day last year has is covered in buds and the first blossom is ready to open.
First bloom of the season on the Old Maid’s Bonnet. This one plant produces purple, pink and white blossoms.
Frankie tending her pot farm. NO, NOT THAT KIND OF POT! She’s growing peppers and strawberries in pots on the patio.
The Shasta Daisy Mom sent home with us last summer. She has an amazing variety of flowers and plants growing in her yard and always sends a few home with us each time we visit.
You’ll remember the picnic table I decided to repair last week. I never got around to sealing it when we bought it and five Blue Ridge Mountain winters really did a job on it. As I started removing rotted lumber to get at the salvageable portions I soon discovered there were no salvageable portions!
I decided the easiest solution was to build a new table but the project came to a halt after I got the table top and legs cut and partially assembled. That was when I finally admitted that my back could take no more. I was feeling much better this morning and could stand looking at that partially completed project no more so I broke out the power tools and with Frankie’s help the construction is finished! Good thing too, because by the time I got all the tools collected and put away my back was wrecked once again.
When operating a hammer it is always important to make certain you hit the correct nail. If you happen to miss you may find yourself doing the “ WRONG @#&%$! NAIL!” dance.
Then you’ll have to go looking for the hammer you threw across the yard.
The black and blue is still spreading and in a couple of days I’ll be twirling a drill bit between my right index finger and thumb to relieve the pressure under the nail.
This time we’ll give the table at least 3 good coats of polyurethane stain. In the fall a couple coats of water sealer should carry us through the winter nicely. The new porch will receive the same treatment except it will just get sealer and no stain. We like the natural wood look for the porch but want the table to match the rest of the lawn furniture. Did I mention that the Adirondack chairs need repairs? Guess I had better buy enough lumber to build 2 new ones.
The old picnic table waiting for Laura to come over with the Jeep so she and Frankie can haul it off to the dump.
It’s okay, Buddy. Daddy isn’t cussing at you.
Momma’s baby!
Momma’s other baby, Godzilla. After more than a year of making excuses for not wanting to learn how to handle my Expedition I tricked her into it. While out running errands recently I “missed” my turn on the way home. rather than turn around I took the next right which “just happened to be” one of the back roads Sam and I used to cruise on our photo adventures.
I pulled over, got out and told her to get behind the wheel. by the time we hit pavement, several miles down the road she was hooked on the power and the view from way up there.
Turns out I was too clever for my own good. After driving it back and forth to work for the past week and using it to run a few errands she had given me official notice: “That’s MY TRUCK! I’ll let you drive it on the Interstate…..maybe!”
I’m pretty wiped out after today’s adventure so I’m taking the easy way out and posting this on my Blogger page, Virginia Through My Lens, as well.
Besides, the pain meds are starting to kick in and I think I may need a nap.
Thanks for stopping by!
No……
No carpentry today………..
I wrecked my back and I’m taking a break. You might want to mark your calendar at this rare instance of surrender to common sense on my part. It could be years before it happens again.
No wandering the back roads with Buddy………
Last week I momentarily lost my mind….or what’s left of it……..and I also lost Godzilla (my beloved Ford Expedition).
THE BOSS has been afraid to drive the truck because it’s so big and she’s so small. On one of her days off last week I “accidentally missed my turn” and the next turn “just happened” to be onto a lonely back road. I climbed out of the truck, told Frankie to swap places and off we went. After a few miles with no accidents and no opposing traffic she was hooked on the power and the view from way up there and was flying down one of the main county roads. She even whipped that big green monster into the Wal-Mart parking lot to pick up a few items. On the way out again she had that “Go ahead and pull out in front of me now!” gleam in her eye and I knew I was a walking man, once again.
No sitting in the backyard shooting burd photos…….
The neighbors are mowing and the burds done vamoosed, at least for the time being. They’re already upset at me for hanging out under their tree……and the feeders…..most of the past 2 days making all kinds of racket with the power tools and the obligatory swearing.
Oh well…….there is a bright side.
NO COOKING TODAY……
If THE BOSS isn’t wiped out from her shift at Sheetz we’re meeting up with the in laws at Foster Falls in New River Trail State Park for a cookout, maybe a little worm drowning fishing and maybe a few shots of the bald eagles (Haliaeetus leucocephalus) I spotted nesting across the river from the park on an earlier visit. I don’t have enough lens to get any decent shots of them on the nest but I may get lucky and catch them in flight.
We shall see…….
All these no’s reminds me of a song from the days of my misspent youth. Now it’s stuck in my head. If you click play below and it gets stuck in yours as well don’t say I didn’t warn you.
After all these years I still think Morticia Addams (Carolyn Jones) is a dish!
Here We Go Again
For those of you who have risked whiplash while shaking your head over some of the things I do to myself (and admit to) this will probably come as no surprise. Spring Fever (aka THE MADNESS) has seized me once more.
You’ll note that Frankie is running for her life in the first frame. After 25 years she has learned that when I get THAT LOOK in my eye it’s best to get far, far away. Of course, yesterday being my 27th birthday……again……she refrained from employing BANGY! BANGY! (the swift and repeated application of a cast iron skillet to my headbone until I change my mind…..what’s left of it).
As I was out shooting photos of Frankie’s Azaleas in bloom I happened to note the sorry state of our picnic table.
Four Blue Ridge Mountain winters have really done a number on this poor thing.
Among other career paths (just call me a jack of all trades, master on none) I actually got paid to bend nails risk self inflicted amputation drive the site foreman to wonder if he had been drunk when he hired me work as a carpenter for a couple of years. A quick appraisal of that poor table revealed that I could salvage the frame but would have to replace the table and bench tops.
Piece of cake!
Yeah…….right.
As with most home improvement projects, a simple project soon turned into a major pain…..literally! After two days of what has become a construction project rather than a repair my already screwed up back is killing me! Before my accident I could have built a new table in an afternoon. Of course, before my accident, I would have gotten by with repairing the table rather than building a new one.
At least the folks at Lowe’s are happy because I take the time to visit their web site before handing Frankie a list and saying “I need this.” She then drives to the store, walks up to the customer service counter, slaps the list on the counter and says “I need this.” The list even has the sku numbers and price so all they have to do is send one of their evil minions scurrying through the aisles to retrieve the items on the list.
Construction should be complete by tomorrow afternoon. I would say that all I had to do after that was stain and seal the finished table. I’m not saying anything of the sort even though I am about half stoned out of what’s left of my mind on prescription pain killers. That statement always gets me in trouble and I’m not tempting fate anymore until I start my next “simple” project.
At least, so far, I haven’t lost any fing…..
Oh no……you’re not going to read about me losing a thumb…….or maybe an ear applying stain. You may laugh but with me anything is possible! Is that neck starting to bother you a little bit now?
More photos to follow.
BIG RED PUPPY!
A picture is worth 1,000 words so here are 2,000.
Buddy is still growing! If he keeps this up he’ll be hard pressed to get enough of his head out the window when he wants to enjoy his new found passion for the wind blowing his ears and lips back as we travel around town.
When we first adopted him he was content to ride in the middle of the back seat, watching the world go by through the windshield. One day he stuck his head out the window while we waited for a traffic light and he still had it out when we started moving. The look on his face said “YEE-HAW, THIS IS FUN!”
He’s come to enjoy riding this way so much that he’ll scratch at the window with his paw if I forget to lower it. Then one day he accidentally put his paw on the electric window button and you could almost see the light bulb pop up over his head.
Even though Buddy’s gotten so big he can barely fit his head and neck through the open window (and the window openings in my Ford Expedition, Godzilla, are not small) I still keep the “child safety” feature on the power windows engaged. That dog is incredibly intelligent and I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if he decided to roll the window down so that he could jump out of the truck to chase after something……… or run amok in McDonald’s. He already knows that when we pull up to those golden arches Momma’s going to get him a double cheeseburger!
Touching Base
I haven’t been online much lately because events in the real world have monopolized my free time. Thank you all for your kind notes and concerned e-mails but I have not managed to get incarcerated or to hurt myself again….so far.
For those of you who don’t already know, I was injured in a serious fall at home in October 2005. Despite spinal repair surgery, 8 months in a #%@&!!! body brace and almost a year of intensive physical therapy those injuries left me permanently disabled and unable to hold a job. There aren’t many employers willing to hire an old geezer like me who can’t bend at the waist, sit, stand or walk for more than 15 or 20 minutes at a time, sees nothing wrong with using his cane to settle disagreements and consumes enough prescription drugs each day to keep a small horse stoned out of it’s gourd.
Well, hopefully, that’s about to change.
I’ve begun the application process with a company that specializes in matching people in my situation with federally subsidized work from home programs. I’ve begun the preliminary selection and qualifications process and should begin online training within the next week or so. Once that is completed I’ll be matched up with either a federal agency or private company and will be working from home part time.
This will cut into my online play time and my wandering through the countryside with my camera in my lap and dog at my side but the extra money will be welcome, even if I only make enough to cover my DSL/Sat TV and ammo bills as well as a new piece of photography gear every now and then.
Oh,man………I just looked at that last sentence and realized I’ll need 2 part time jobs just to cover the last item on my list! All I know is something’s gotta give because Social Security Disability Income just don’t cut it!
Well, there you have it. The reason for my mysterious absence lately. I’d write more or include a few photos but I have to practice speaking with an Indian accent in case I’m assigned to a tech support call center. Yeah, I know that’s not politically correct but……..well, you know.
From the Inbox
I may be wealthy!!! Mom always taught me to share so if anyone out there would care to get in on this by all means, do!
HOW ARE YOU TODAY?
Good thing to write you,
we Have A Proposal for you, INTEND to establishe we with you in your Which Country Is Not mandatory rules however will Compel In Any Manner Honour to you Against your will.
Dearest I am Anthony and my sister Morine of Our late Mr and Parents Mrs Kone Kurubos. Our Father Was a highly reputable business magnet-(acocoa merchant) WHO operated in Abidjan capital of Ivory Coast During historical days.It That is sad to say I Passed away mysteriously in France During one of historical business trips abroad.
Though His sudden death Was linked or Suspected to Have Been Rather masterminded by an uncle of ours Who Travelled with Him at That Time. But God knows the truth! "Our mother died When We Where small, and since then Our Father took us so special.Before His death, My father Called Me and Told me that I have the sum of (USD $ 15,000.000) (Fifteen MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS) deposited with a security company as a Trunk box Cote’D Ivoire in west Africa.
Weitere I Told me that I deposited the box with the name of a business partner while i am the next of kin and That the security Company That Is Not aware the content of the box is cash. We are just young 20 years old and 18 to highy school and college people, Knowledge of business with little Which is why we are in Need of a Whom partner will assist us to get this fund released for Investments his or her country in while I will proceed with Our education.
Dear, We are in a sincere desire of your humble assistance program on this Regard, and your suggestions and ideas will be highly appreciated.Now FEW These permit us ask questions?
1. Can you honestly do this transaction with us?
2.Can We trust you?
Please, Consider this and get back to us as soon as possible so That We do Give you the full informations That will be need. And We will want you To Know That You Are We Have the frist person contact for this transaction.
Thank you so much and God bless you abundantly.
Best regards,
Anthony and Morine Kurubos
Spell check had a fit with this but I felt it might detract from the message if I altered it in any way. I do have one concern; if this guy passed away in France before he wrote this do I still get the money?
Contrary to popular belief……
…………….I did not fall off the edge of the world. My canine pal, Buddy, damaged the front porch while chasing a cat and, among other things, I used to bang nails for a living so…….
For those who don’t already know, I wrecked my back in a fall at home in 2005, fracturing several vertebrae and damaging my spinal cord. When surgery to repair the fractures in my lumbar spine failed to correct the problem I was forced to retire on disability.
I’m what my father would call “bull headed”, a trait shared by all my siblings and just about all of our relatives on Pop’s side of the family. Being bull headed and refusing to let my physical problems, or common sense for that matter, dictate what I can and can’t do I sometimes push the envelope a little too far and end up paying the price.
The week before last I really pushed it. This past week I paid for it. I’m also a chronic pain patient and have an impressive collection of narcotic pain killers in various dosages, some of which could probably knock out an elephant.
I only take my meds when I absolutely have to. This past week, after deciding to not just repair the porch but to re-design and re-build it without bothering to ask for help I have been taking full doses of all of my meds. I have also spent most of my “waking hours” stoned out of my gourd, staring at the idiot box and trying not to drool on my chest. To give you an idea of just how loopy, every thing Charlie Sheen has been saying makes perfect sense to me!
This is why I haven’t been blogging or even playing around on Face Book. It’s not that I haven’t tried, it’s just that the Gibberish to English translator on my laptop has apparently malfunctioned and I’ll have to do a lot of password resetting…….
…….as soon as the drugs wear off………again!
You see, I was feeling pretty good this morning and the weather was nothing short of glorious; sunny, pleasant little breeze and 72°F ( about 22°C for those of a metric persuasion) so I decided to tackle a few little jobs I’ve been meaning to get to.
The first order of business was to change out those lamps in Godzilla’s headlights for the high powered ones I bought at Auto Zone. I put a set in Laura’s Jeep a couple of years back and people were flashing their high beams at us in an attempt to tell us we had our brights on. Flashing her high beams in response left several people suffering temporary blindness as well as flash burns.
Godzilla sits a lot higher off the ground than the Jeep and I can’t wait to show that jerk across the street my high powered headlights! I wonder if his vinyl siding will melt if I aim them at his house and leave them on all night.
Next I decided to do a little more on the porch, nothing too strenuous mind you, so I broke out the implements of construction, buckled on my carpenter’s belt and proceeded to measure, cut, curse, nail, curse some more when I hit the wrong nail (usually thumb nail), drop stuff where I couldn’t reach, curse ………. and wreck my back again.
At least I still have plenty of meds!
As you can see, I also managed to get a few shots of the sunset this evening. I wanted to be sure the camera was ready for the super moon tomorrow night, the largest it has appeared in the sky in 18 years.
I also discovered the camera needs a good cleaning, especially the sensor, but I’m not going to try that until the meds wear off.
See? I do have a little common sense, especially when it comes to playing with delicate electronics while stoked to the gills on pain killers, muscle relaxers, sleep aids, nerve pain meds.
Besides, I can’t do any fine work with my hands until the bandages come off. Did I mention that Frankie spent a good half hour doctoring all the cuts, scrapes and splinters I picked up today. I won’t repeat any of the “special” words she used when voicing her opinion of “a man my age” doing the bull headed things I do. Your monitor would probably catch fire if I did.
Oh look………the meds must be kicking in…….the cartoons in my head have started and it’s a Road Runner marathon! WOO-HOO!
P.S. If you are having trouble following all this you may want to stop by www.tigerbloodAdonisgenes.com and have Charlie Sheen explain today’s post. I’m sure he knows where I’m coming from.
