The view from my perch on the mountain

Archive for November 25, 2010

How hard can it be?

Re-posted from my Blogger page

King-Tom--50080Suddenly,  the problems associated with genetic engineering to produce larger, plumper turkeys became all too apparent.

Place burd in oven, roast 3 hours at 325°, basting occasionally……”

Let’s see, take the knob off the oven, flip it over…..that’s 90 minutes at 650……..flip that rascal over again, twice………6 carry the 3……..

Uh,oh!
Do you suppose that was supposed to be 325°F?
US and metric time are the same, aren’t they?
I had a feeling buying that oven on sale at Tesco.com might present a problem one day.
If tenting the turkey is such a good idea how do you keep the tent poles from catching fire?
Why doesn’t Reynolds make fireproof turkey tents?

funny-turkey-cartoon2

I read something about stuffing the bird. Does shoving him in an itty bitty sleeping bag count?
Did you know that if you mix Spam and Jell-O you can mold it into any shape you like, just like Play Dough?

turkey1
Cooking tip: Don’t use lime Jell-O.
“Daddy why is the turkey green?”
“You’ve heard of aged beef…..this is aged turkey! It’s considered a delicacy in Japan!”

TURKEY-FLYING--7310

At least I didn’t set the yams on fire like a certain idiot I know did last Christmas!
Oh, wait…….that was me.
Cooking tip: If you mix Spam with orange Jell-O you can mold it into very realistic looking yams.

Does anyone else smell smoke?


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